Whispering of Willows 55

By Dr. Anna Zhao

In the clinic garden, not long after sunrise, I have already picked a bag full of dew coated blueberries. Sitting down to rest, on my lap is a poetry book that I have been enjoying. 

The fruits in the garden are gradually growing. Dr. Ali planted several varieties of fruit this year, including purple, yellow and red plums. One day, when Dr. Ali was working in the garden, checking over one tree, he found two plums already ripened. Laughing like a child, he handed one fruit to me, took the other one for himself, and then raised it to touch mine, as a toast. Thusly we relished the first fruit of the year. 

Dr. Ali also installed a solar-powered miniature fountain next to the Buddha statue, in which fallen rose petals were placed. 

We have seen quite a few cancer patients recently, more than in previous years, especially breast cancer.

There is a cancer patient, I will call her M for the time being. With her consent, I will briefly write about her here.

M was depressed. I met her last year, and she always seemed laden with stress. It is rare to see her smile, let alone laugh out loud. This is the second time she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

As she is afraid of needles, I try to give her ear acupuncture (Auriculotherapy), and sometimes scraping, cupping and bojin (facia release technique).

Once she said, sheepishly, "I'm sorry, Dr. Anna, I don't know why I am so sensitive. I hope you don’t mind it. Even if you are using no needles, sometimes I still feel I am tender everywhere."

"Which is not a bad thing,” responded I, “it can also mean you are super sensitive with energy. Simply cry out loud when it hurts."

"Ah, no," she shook her head, abashed, "I'm not used to screaming. An introvert I am. When I feel pain, all I do is to grit my teeth and tighten my body."

"Not the best option, M," I emphasized, "whenever you experience a pain, it is important that you vocalize it."

"But why?"

"Well, according to my Master, this is the only way to pour out negative energy from the hidden bottle in your heart. My master said that most cancer stems from unspoken anger. Once the sealed-up emotions are fully expressed, the patient has commenced the journey of healing."

“I am not sure if I completely understand it. Can you please tell me more about what he said?”

“Of course, this is his main idea: A healthy body accompanies a person who has understood the importance of releasing deep buried tension.  In order to be healthy, we must lean how to release unwanted energy, such as stress, anxiety, hurt, pain, frustrations; all those pent-up emotions that are damaging our health.”

M looked at me, seemingly stirred.

I smiled and described to her my Master’s clinic. It was in Asia, in a small treatment center. As a reputable healer, he has hundreds of people flooding to see him everyday. He often sees multiple patients at the same time, who all lie down in the middle of the hall, screaming, crying, and wailing one after another. From a distance, the treatment centre sounds like a slaughterhouse. And what is the weapon in the Master's hand? Not a knife, not even a needle, but a small piece of wood no thicker than a pencil! And lo, a few minutes later, those patients, who had been yelling at the top of their lungs, simply jumped off the bed and left quietly, with a content and grateful smile on their face.

M shook her head in disbelief, "Are you saying these people are all healed instantly?"

"No, I did not say they are 100% healed, but it is evident they are in much better shape than when they came. They got far more than they expected. And they can return as needed to see the Master.”

"But," M frowned in confusion, "Why would a small piece of wood, not much bigger than a pencil, make them groan like that?"

"According to my Master, that is neither due to his treatment methods or his treatment tools. It is more like the howl from the patients' past experiences, such as past injuries, anger, grievances, frustrations, anxiety and fears. When they are released, they make terrible noises. During a treatment, the Master always asks the patients to keep their mouths open, to facilitate the escape of unwanted energy."

M ‘s eyes widened.

After that, whenever I treated M, she, though always a bit timid, began to cry out when experiencing pain. Once she said to me, emotionally, "Dr. Anna, you were right. My cancer is indeed caused by too much unspoken anger. I don't know why I get angry so easily. Sometimes I am angry at my parents, sometimes at my husband, sometimes at my kids, sometimes at my colleagues, sometimes at strangers, and sometimes even at myself... I know this is not good, but I don't know how to correct it. To be honest, after I got cancer the second time, I got even angrier. When my friend introduced me to you, at the time, I didn't really believe that acupuncture or any Traditional Chinese Medicine could help me, because I had seen quite a few TCM doctors in the past, as well as several alternative medicine doctors. But the amazing thing is that you, like your Master, utilizing your very fine needs or a small wooden stick, with a gentle poke, it dislodges the negative energy buried deep inside me, one after another, which I see as little monsters. I feel much lighter than before."

"That's because you have learned to howl," I said with a grin, "otherwise, how would those little monsters have the chance to escape?"

"Doctor Anna, I have another question for you. I often vomited after chemotherapy. The first time when I had chemo, I threw up pretty much everything I ate. I took Western medicine to no avail. I took many herbal medicines recommended by other doctors, and they still didn't work. Again, this year, with my chemotherapy, I vomited again, but with the small bag of herbal medicine you gave me, my nausea stopped soon after. Could you tell me what herb in it is so effective in preventing nausea?"

When I told her the main ingredients, her eyes widened: "I have taken these herbs before, why didn't they work in the past?"

"Why?" I giggled, "Because in the past the main ingredient in your herbal prescription was not included!"

"The main ingredient?"

"Yes, the main ingredient, in Chinese, we call it the sovereign herb, which is the most important ingredient in a formula."

"What is mine then?"

"It's you."

"Me?"

“Yes, you, yourself!”

That day, I invited M to medicate under the rose bushes in the garden, and then I said, "M, look, these are the herbs we planted. These perilla, goji, bamboo, mulberry, honeysuckle, mint, chrysanthemum, etc. they can all help you. Even roses can help you, as these plants all have their own special medicinal properties and medicinal effects. However, no matter what herbs you take, remember, the most potent ingredient is yourself. You must firmly believe that your illness is a messenger, and it comes to you not to punish you, but to correct the imperfections in your life. Then, you yourself becomes an active ingredient with extremely powerful medicinal properties. Don't you think so?"

M looked at me, bewildered.

I took her to a plum tree in the garden and asked her, "Tell me, my friend, what's the difference between this plum tree in front of you and the other plum trees beside it?"

She examined it carefully and said, "The bottom of this plum tree is slenderer. I suppose it may have suffered from an injury."

I nodded, "Dr. Ali said that this tree was indeed injured. You can still see the scars on its lower trunk, which is the battlefield left by the war between the tree’s healthy cells and its intruders."

"But Dr. Anna, I noticed the fruits on this damaged tree are also very large, they are quite a bit larger than those of other plum trees."

"Ah, M, I'm so glad you noticed this. Do you know why its fruits are so much larger, dear M?"

"Why?"

"It is because of this fact: when the tree was infested with a disease or bacteria, it deliberately made the wood of the injured part tougher and allowed its roots to reach deeper into the soil. In this way, the disease or bacteria had no chance to march into deeper parts of the tree. On the other hand, because its roots are stretched deeper into the soil than other plants, it gets more nutrients, and as a result, its fruits naturally become more abundant and sweeter than its neighbours’."

M seemed to have understood something but said nothing.

"So, M, plants also have wisdom. Once they get sick, they not only immediately mobilize their potential to repair themselves to resist invasion, they also turn quickly to gather help from external forces such as Mother Earth. That is how they strengthen themselves under serious circumstances. Even if their first line of defense is accidentally breached, they will consciously mobilize the second and third lines of defense to protect their lives and fight against any enemy unyieldingly... Who knows, maybe they even cry out – in their own way？”

"Is this why you say that I am the main ingredient in my herbal formula?"

I nodded.

That day, after M left, I did some Qigong in the sunlight in the garden. When I stood up, my poetry book fell to the ground. I picked it up and saw my favorite poem by Milosz in front of my face.

Gift  

(by Miłosz) 

A day so happy. 
Fog lifted early, I worked in the garden. 
Hummingbirds were stopping over honeysuckle flowers. 
There was no thing on earth I wanted to possess. 
I knew no one worth my envying him. 
Whatever evil I had suffered, I forgot. 
To think that once I was the same man did not embarrass me. 
In my body I felt no pain. 
When straightening up, I saw the blue sea and sails. 

I beamed, as I straightened up.  In front of me, I saw neither the blue sea or sailboats, but a bird leaning over and stealing nectar from the rose petals in the fountain.