Whispering of Willows (37)

By Dr. Anna Zhao

(https://whisperingwillowclinic.com)

Once when I was treating a little girl, I asked her when she felt the happiest. She tilted her little head and answered: “When there are two candies in my pocket.”

“Why two?” I pursued.

She giggled: “This way I can hear the sound of candys bouncing around in my pocket when I am hopping.”

She threw back a question at me: “If an elf can grant your wishes, what would you want from him?”

What might I want? I thought to myself.

Maybe I can have a car. Our car is over 20 years old; it doesn’t even have air conditioning.

I would like to have a small house, because the apartment I live in now only has a small balcony. It would be great if I could plant some fruit trees and herbs in a courtyard behind the house.

Maybe I could have a little more money to afford me to travel around the world searching for medical gurus who could enlighten me on how to become a better doctor.

Also, wouldn’t it be great if I had the money to purchase a small clinic nestled in the forest? This way, I could teach patients meditation, yoga, and Qigong outdoors, and when tired, I can snooze in the shade of a tree...

With even more money, we could provide free healing services every day, so that no matter who, wealthy or poor, everyone could benefit from our service...

After all, I have many wishes and the list goes on.

Today my first patient was an eye patient. While I was massaging his eyes, the sun rose, glistening on the treatment table and my face. We are in the middle of winter, but the gentle touch of the sunlight made me feel warm and moved. Suddenly the thought came to me that indeed I have no greater wish than what I am doing now. Perhaps the elves have already granted all my wishes: I am doing what I love and getting paid for it. What more could I ask for?

The poet Rumi said: “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”

Speaking of Rumi, I have to make a special mention of one patient who came to visit us last week.

We call him Professor A, a retired doctor of literature who previously specialized in the study of the Persian poet Rumi.

This professor is a very special man; elegant, knowledgeable, and genuine. Both Dr. Wang and I adore him, and whenever he comes, a little excitement stirs in the clinic, even though he is old enough to be our father.

When we asked him how old he was, he smiled and replied: "I am in my 30s, for I only count daytime. I sleep through the nights, so why count them?”

The professor loved his wife deeply, but unfortunately, she died quite a few years ago and he has been living as a widower. I asked him if he felt lonely, but he said no; although he misses his wife dearly, he believes her soul often accompanies him. Not only is he not lonely, he said, he sees every day as a joy and a blessing.

He asked, "Do you want to know how I have dinner every day? In the evenings I am all by myself; I turn off the lights, light a candle, and pour a glass of red wine. In my comfy attire I am seated by my little table. On the table are flowers freshly picked from the yard; the candlelight flickering mysteriously in the darkness. I take my time to eat my meal. By the way, I am a vegetarian - all the dishes I cook are organic and fresh.  I take a sip of my wine as I munch my favorite food, hah, aren’t I a happy prince?"

I giggled, "Professor A, are you imagining that you are a prince?"

"No," he said seriously, "I am not imagining that I am a prince. I am a prince. Although I am not a particularly rich man, I have everything I need in life. If I do not qualify as a prince, who else could?"

Before leaving, I said to him: “Dear Professor A, how interesting it is to talk with you! Can I include what you told to us into my Whispering of Willows?”

He replied with hearty chuckle: “Why not? Maybe I will become a celebrity because of this. And who knows if the next day, when I open the door, oh my Lord, a long line of young and beautiful girls are waiting for me outside!”

The professor's attitude towards life reminds me of another scene I witnessed during the two weeks before my father passed, when I was in the hospital taking care of him. Not far from his ward lived a senior lady, to whom I had never spoken. Every evening when the hospital delivered her meal, I saw her have someone move her tiny dining table to the corridor, where she sat and dined. A white napkin was tied around her neck, in her hands were a dinner knife and fork; holding her posture upright, she was completely focused on enjoying her meal, her silver hair and the black tableware in sharp contrast.

This was the intensive care unit, and the corridor was not spacious. Around her were doctors or nurses with hastened footsteps, or visiting family members, hearts laden with fear and worries. However, this lady paid no attention to the surroundings, completely ignoring the sideways glances from curious onlookers. Her elegance, confidence and pride made her look like a queen relishing a banquet made just for her.

At that time, I thought: It’s extraordinary that this seriously ill senior can enjoy life so calmly and gracefully.

After bidding farewell to Professor A that day, I couldn't help but think: Is there a different kind of happiness; a kind of abundance, and a kind of elegance that exists in this world? It must  already reside deep in our hearts; we don't need to look outside for it at all, because it is already there. What we need to do is: express it in the best way we can; bringing it out directly and vividly right in front of our eyes, just like the two seniors I mentioned.

Patients often ask me: “Dr. Anna, why do I always crave junk food, even though I know they are harmful? Can you please help me lose some weight?”

I sometimes tell them bluntly: There are several different "deficiencies" in Traditional Chinese Medicine: Qi deficiency, Blood deficiency and Spirit deficiency. If you are deficient in qi, you will find that you are not energetic enough; if you are deficient in blood, you will have heart function problems, including insomnia, or itchy skin, etc.; if you are deficient in spirit, you will be restless and have a kind of void sensation in your heart, as if an emptiness is there making you inexplicably hungry and thirsty. Not being sure why you are hungry and thirsty, you will try to fill those voids by stuffing yourself with high-calorie foods. In fact, what you need to do most at this time is to reflect – reflect on your life and observe what that void you are experiencing might be. If you are serious about healing, you have no choice but to try to find meaning in all the life events you are experiencing, such as loss, trauma, frustration, and pain. You have to learn to rekindle the flame of your passion for life.

No passion means no happiness, and no fulfillment ever.

Yes, life is indeed not easy. Especially during the last a few years, life has been terribly difficult for many people and families. How many have lost family members or loved ones? How many suffer from life-threatening diseases? How many families struggle to survive due to the severe economic recession? How many children growing up in pain and in broken families? How many had to face separation, violence and even war? How many are left shattered by grief, or have fallen into an abyss of despair?

All these are brutal reality and there is no escape. Those of us who are relatively more fortunate must have a soft heart and overflowing compassion, endeavouring to help those less fortunate, walk through their troubles.

If you are one of those in deplorable circumstances, I suggest you live as fully as possible in your personal circumstances like the above two seniors. If you observe carefully, you will find that no matter what era you are in, no one's life is perfect. Some people may appear prosperous and successful on the surface, but you haven't seen the thorns they walked through in the dark, and the tears they shed along the way.

Traditional Chinese Medicine says: Fear harms the kidneys, anger, the liver, and sadness, the lungs. But don’t you think these all stem from life’s deprivations, whether we are talking about fear, or anger, or sadness? But who is doing the depriving? Professor A could sit in front of the TV, sad and eat junk food, but he chose to live life fully.

In summery, in order to be healthy and happy, through your choices, you must constantly adjust the weather inside your body. At any time, even in the darkest and loneliest times, you have to create your happiness, joy and enthusiasm for life for yourself, just like those two beautiful senior people I talked about earlier.

As Rumi said:

Do not sit long with a sad friend.

When you go to a garden,

do you look at thorns or flowers?

Spend more time with roses and jasmine.